Spam Excuses

Why not use spam to help you? After years of penis enlargement emails and confidential business propositions from Nigeria you deserve some payback.
So why not use spam to cover your misdeeds? Send an email admitting to some heinous crime. But modify it so that the email gets sent to the spam folder and is ignored.
Then when your boss asks about the defrauded 5 billion or your wife finds you in bed with her sister you can say "But i sent you an email telling you" and that way lose some of the blame.
Think of it this way Spam filtering is an immune system that prevents useless emails from getting into your email body. What I am trying to do is create a false positive auto-immune email response.

Spam filters use a number of techniques to judge that an email is spam.
1. The user email. Someone who emails you all the time is unlikely to suddenly become a spammer. Because of this when sending your confession you need to use an email the recipient does not recognise. You can use an anonymous remailer or even just a web email account.
2. If you are sending to a web email if your email has sent spam previously your address is likely to be blacklisted. So before sending to recipient@mail from spammer@mail send some purely spam email from this address before you send the email with the confession you want to be junked.
3. The message content. Email filters generally use Bayesian filtering where words are ranked by their frequency.
You can take a collection of spam emails and extract random words out of them. This might fool a Bayesian filter but you could not later argue that you really meant for the email to be read.

A serious problem is one of trust. No one is going to accept "but I told you I was going to defraud the bank of billions" if you make such an obvious attempt to stop your mail getting seen no one will believe you made a sincere attempt to confess.

So rather then adding random spamy words altering your email to look spamy in a more natural way is preferable. Markov models are a good way of producing realistic text.

I gathered together some spams to train this ruby program on it on and the result is below.

"an alpha blocker (other than tamsulosin (Flomax) 0.4 mg once a day) such as doxazosin (Minipress),
TRY IS TODAY TO GAIN THE LONGEST AND LIVE LARGE TODAY! from 20$ 4 or more mood-killing premature ej@culation. Just try VPXL and more effective is an idea of the world is an idea of Feed Blaster is faster, easier to use,"

So how do you tell your boss that you are defrauding your bank out of a possible 5 billion euro? Say the message is
I am engaged in an illegal rogue trading activity.

Ok now give an explanation for the use of the weird email account. Make the explanation kind of spammy.

sorry for using this weird account I thought you might want to join me in this confidential business proposition.

add some more spam sounding text also

(I know this sounds like one of these confidential business propositions but do not worry i am not trying to Increase Your pen!s size.)
(If we join together in this we will Enjoy all the action of Las Vegas with 24 hour customer services,)

Now when you send this mail it will be cause a false positive be sent to the junk folder ignored and only brought up when you need to blame someone else during your trial.